ReflectionS

Sadly, unfortunately and other synonyms to describe this post. It is not usual trip advice or warm memories to share, advice and encourage. This is about emotions all travellers feel, be it big or small, full time or hobby - confusion, anger, joy, loneliness and FEAR. The world has stopped. Last time our family felt normal was 17.03.2020 when I took my oldest daughter of school and we both understood that life would be different from then. On the way home, I quietly thought to myself "I wonder when she will go back, how am I supposed to stay strong and show them that everything is OK?" Nearly four months have passed, she is still at home, husband still at home and our 4 year old walking around, chanting "stay home, stay safe". To be honest, it has been a rollercoaster. Started on a high note - we all finally gonna spend lots of time together, homeschooling seemed adventure and challenge for me (I wanted to prove myself am good @ it, and I really am. Will give myself a pat on shoulder :) We did arts&crafts, read books, played games, planned trips and thought it wont be long before it is all over. Then the second months of lockdown arrived. The numbers started climbing and fear and panic crept in. The inspiration for homeschooling and kids daily entertaining -how to say it better- slowed down. Most evenings after kids gone to bed, I sat in sofa with the cup of tea, remembering days events and thought to myself - somewhere in this world somebody lost his/her life. Horrible truth to accept. Then third months - anger. Everything starts to irritate. I start to analyze everything. You see the seasons changing, nature changing....that is the best out of this nightmare...world got a break. I get it, it did need a break...I needed a break, but at what cost? It was sad to see my daughter looking out the window, asking me when we going out...We did  go out, we still go out, but it is not the same anymore. I do not think it ever will be. It will be so different having hot chocolate or birthday in your favourite restaurant. And how about traveling. Planning holidays and taking planes. Something so close to me. So many questions and so few answers. I am an organizer, planner. I love routine. I need to know how, when and why. How to plan anything now????!!! Just the other day I looked @ our trips. Just a few months ago, it was so quick and easy - choose destination, book and away we go. Miss seeing smiles on my daughters faces when we land somewhere new. Their pure and sincere excitement is the best. We have some plans since the world opened up again, but am cautious. They said the world will be different, the people will be nicer, we all will be more friendly ...hhhmmmmm....we will see. We will see where this new world takes us. Can not wait for our first trip wherever it will be. I will let you know :) HOPE